The Low Place Consulting

February 17, 2025

I normally have a word for a new year that I am drawn to. It will serve as a theme in how I move through the next phase of time. At the end of 2024, I felt no nudge or curiosity around this tradition I hold. What I did feel at the end of 2024 was some overwhelm and fear. I took notice, leaned into that a bit and began addressing it with my therapist. 

I don’t know about you, but my personal experience is that we are very results motivated. 

When this, then that. 

When I heal from my depression, then I can enjoy my life. 

When I get a handle on my OCD, then I can go out. 

When my joints stop hurting, then I can train my body. 

When I finish this home remodel, then I can have people over. 

When I lose weight, then I can wear my bathing suit in public. 

Any of these resonate? I am sure we can contribute our own reasons. 

My mom said that in 2025 she wanted more family dinners, something we were in the habit of in 2021 but it slowly fell off the radar. This stuff has to be intentional if it’s going to happen. 

Similarly when we prepped to host this time, I had similar thoughts. 

When the garage is clean, we can walk in through this door. 

When the mud room remodel is done, then we can grab our farm shoes here.

When this, then that…..

I bit the bullet and offered to host a family dinner with none of those qualifiers listed above. It was a dart on the calendar based on everyone’s availability. 

My family started to show up, literally at all different times. Baseball season has started for my nephews so my brother came after a scrimmage with the two boys. My niece came with his mother in law. My sister in law was way late cause she took a wrong turn after waiting for a grocery delivery, and to my surprise my sister, her husband and youngest niece showed up together and on time!  Somewhere in the middle of all that my mom came with the spanish rice! 

Jules and I prepped the house and food while Christine prepped the farm. Jaysen was at fire school so he joined when he got home. It was a taco buffet. Oh and I forgot to mention, somewhere in that Christine went to pick up her mom and aunt to join the chaos, I mean fun! 

There was a lot of disorganized shuffle…something my nervous system doesn’t equate with a good time. I could feel my body tense up. 

As the family started to pour in- the kids ran out back and started to play. Jules grabbed the golf cart, my mom jumped in with her and they laughed. Everyone helped with the farm chores. 

My brother’s mother in law- and I talked a lot through the night and we laughed so much! 

My mother in law and I hung out in the kitchen, she shared some stories and she helped with the clean up. Truffles, the very skittish kitty, gravitated to aunt Cynthia. 

My sister is a very beautiful and pristine woman. There was a point in the evening when I saw her in high rubber boots, carrying a bag of goat feed through pig poop to complete a task. I snapped a picture and the expression on her face was everything. This left us with the sweetest gift of giggles for years to come.

As we ate, my sister in law arrived and we laughed about her wrong turn. Jay got home from the fire academy and the younger cousins were enamoured as they crowded around him while he shoveled in much needed food! They moved to the front yard for some basketball and pickleball and the landscape lighting began to turn on as the sun went down. 

The front began to glow. I looked around and took a deep breath. The air was crisp with a slight stink of farm. The laughs were prominent. The stories were told. The dishes were clanging as my mom helped clean up. It was all so good. So good. 

I slept hard that night. 

I am usually up before the humans on the farm. The next morning was no different. This offered some sweet space to reflect on the night before.

What came to me was that last night was imperfectly perfect. 

What brought overwhelm to me was all our stories had some way heavy headlines, 

Addiction

Infidelity 

Grief 

Trauma 

Chronic diseases

Depression

Anxiety

Loss 

Body Pain 

Divorce 

Abuse 

Yet we were not wearing shirts labeling ourselves with our heaviness headlines. We were all like these walking miracles. Out of the hardest chapters quite literally some of us had learned to walk again, and we were all limping. Still brings me awe when I sit with it. 

We were enough. 

Enough to show up whenever. 

Enough to enjoy. 

Enough to laugh. 

Enough to come as we are from where we were. 

We had enough

Enough food

Enough stuff to do 

Enough stories to tell 

Enough jokes to enjoy 

Enough memories to savor 

We were enough for ourselves and for each other. 

I could feel it in my body. 

It was foreign and warm. 

So this year will be this foreign, warm feeling of enough. That I will hold loosely, in the light, turn it in different angles to see how it reflects and shines. 

I’ll start there.